Infinite Monkeys

Tom Cruise ...

... is one strange cat.

Seriously. The video at the above link — the one the Cult of Scientology doesn't want you sub-humans to see — simply should not be missed.

Creepy factor: Off the charts.

Some highlights from the transcript at Us Magazine:

Delusions of grandeur: "We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions... we can rehabilitate criminals. ...We can bring peace and unite cultures..."

Um. Sure, Tom. Why don't you start with the hard conversion cases first — Muslims. Let me know how that works out for you.

Tom on "helping": "It is the time now. Now is the time... Being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you better know it, you better know it and if you don’t, go and learn it, but don’t pretend you know it. It’s like we’re here to help."

Yes. Only here to help. Just like the aliens in "They Live!" Who's got a pair of magical sunglasses handy? Somebody scream, "It's a cookbook!"

Tom on sacrifice: "Look, I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation and go and romp and play and just do that, you know what I mean. That’s what I want it to be. There’s times I’d like to do that, but I can’t because I know I have to do something about it."

Right. Celebrity bazillionaires never take vacations. Thanks for your dedication. I haven't had a proper vacation to "romp and play" for seven years. And I didn't have to join a cult to not do it. Silly me.

Tom on the way to be: "I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything. [laughs] There’s nothing part-of-the way for me."

And that's the creepy part. In Tom's vision of the world, the earth (at least) is separated into those who believe in his nonsense, and those who don't. And it's clear from the language Tom uses, and the tone of the whole conversation, that he considers non-kooks to be lesser beings. Ignorant animals. Somehow not human. He certainly goes after those of his own "faith" who do not take it as seriously as he does. If he is down on them, what does he think of those who have not taken a generous quaff of the Cristal Kool-Aid?

Indeed, these excerpts barely do this whole thing justice. You have to see Tom's eerie and uncomfortable laughs. The near maniacal look on his face. His seriousness of purpose. His use of pronouns like "it" and "them" — not to mention shorthand like SP and KSW — that lend an air of disconcerting mystery to the whole thing.

CREEP—EEE.

Posted by Dr. Zaius at January 16, 2008 12:10 AM | TrackBack