Infinite Monkeyszzzzz... must change bandages... zzzzzzz...must coach basketball......zzzzzzzz....must teach......zzzzz......must suffer even more humiliating loss as basketball coach... zzzzzzz... must visit hometown and get teary-eyed.....zzzzzzzz....opinions not worth blogging...zzzzzzzzz....
What? A SPLENDA SHORTAGE? Holy sucralose! I had hoped that my numerous pro-Splenda posts would encourage the success of Splenda, but I never dreamed our blog had this kind of power. My efforts to ensure my own access to the miracle sweetener [that, yes–yes, might kill me according to your naturalist homeopath] have been undermined by my smothering love.
I think I'm set to make it through the Prilosec shortage. I'm braving it through the flu shot shortage. But I'm gonna do my darn'dest to make sure I stock up effectively on my Splenda.
I adore it so that one haiku alone will not suffice.
O, sweet, sweet Splenda –Posted by Brad at December 4, 2004 04:56 PM | TrackBackMy beacon ingredient...
Tamer of bitter.
_____________________Tear yellow packet:
White powder dust floats up to
The back of my throat.
That weird jolt I get
From aspartame ingestion
Not from splenda, wow
Posted by: michael at December 4, 2004 10:46 PMUnfortunately, this will be discovered to cause cancer sometime
Posted by: Chase at December 6, 2004 06:56 PMNewspaper told us
Oxygen causes cancer
In my college days
Posted by: Monkey Brad at December 6, 2004 08:58 PMDoctors may study:
Lab monkeys ingest a lot
But I will know first
Posted by: Monkey Brad at December 6, 2004 09:02 PMHey Uncle Fuckers:
Cthulhu is going quite mad
Stop this haiku thing
(just kidding - anybody want a peanut?)
Posted by: HaiCthulhu at December 6, 2004 11:13 PM