...crazy women blasted on wine, meth, pot and downers kill people:

An Australian woman who ran down and killed a man who threw cheese-flavoured snacks at her car was jailed Thursday for 25 years.

Sydney woman Sarah May Ward intended to injure Eli Westlake for throwing the snacks at her vehicle, judge Roderick Howie told the New South Wales Supreme Court, describing the 21-year-old's murder as "a senseless act of anger."

"She clearly wanted to teach the young men a lesson," the Australian Associated Press quoted judge Howie as saying as he sentenced Ward to jail for a minimum 18 years.

The jury was told Ward, 39, had drunk two bottles of wine and used cannabis, amphetamine drugs and anti-depressants before getting into her car in Sydney's northern suburbs on June 7, 2008.

She decided impulsively to use the vehicle as a weapon after Westlake threw the snacks at her car as a joke while walking home with his brother and a group of friends.

It's a horrifying story, and I'm glad the woman is going away. Yet I cannot help but think of this.

Via FilmDrunk (whence I stole yet another headline) comes news of the Norwegian formerly known as Andreas Jankov:

"I wanted to show that it is possible to be serious and at the same time take the name you like," said Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. The movie enthusiast decided to change his name three years ago after radio host and comedian Espen Thoresen changed his name to Espen Thoresen-Hværsaagod-Takkskalduha.

I guess that's cooler than Julius Andreas Gimli Donknotts MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov. But not by much.

By the way, you should really click through to the FilmDrunk link for a picture of Jankov. The new name is somehow fitting.

Competitive eating is serious business, certainly for the antacid industry. And on this Independence Day, all Americans can take pride in the fact that, Joey (Jaws) Chestnut was again crowned the champion in the Super Bowl of competitive eating events, the 94-year-old Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island. Yes. The mustard-yellow belt remains in America's hands!

"Jaws" also set a new world record, wolfing down 68 hot dogs (and their buns) in 10-minutes. Joey's arch rival, Takeru Kobayashi, was hoping to snatch back the crown from the United States. But the six-time hot dog eating champ from Japan fell short when he downed just 64 dogs.

Huzzah! And God Bless America.

California's governor nanny signed a bill yesterday that outlaws the use of trans fats in cooking forever more, making the Golden State the first in the nation to impose a statewide ban.

The California legislature pushed the bill through last week, and Schwarzenegger signed it into law Friday, July 25.

The ban will require food providers to begin phasing out trans fat oils by July 1, 2009. Thereafter, noncompliance with the ban will result in fines of up to $1,000.

I wonder what will become of this French pastry chef — who lives and works in the California Town of Tiburon, which boasts of its already trans-fat-free restaurants and applauds the ban:

"The change has been very well received by our customers," said Carl Peschlow, owner of Sweden House Bakery in Tiburon. "Those so-called bad fats do, however, give our croissants a little oomph."

Peschlow said that while his bakery made the change relatively early, they still use a "tiny bit" of trans fat in their croissant recipe. Otherwise, Peschlow said, "the croissants just look like fat pancakes."

What an idiot this guy is. Come July 2009, Peschlow will have a choice. Either serve "fat pancakes" and try to convince customers to close their eyes and imagine they are eating fluffy and delicious croissants, or use a "tiny bit" of trans fats and charge $1,000 each to cover the fine. Banning something means it is wholly prohibited, not that it's OK to use just a "tiny bit."

And what of fast food restaurants, particularly fried chicken chains and even my beloved Carl's Jr., which still use trans fats? In the case of the chicken joints, many that compete with KFC feel it's essential to use trans fats to ensure their products are delicious enough to attract customers. I guess they are just out of luck, and will be forced to either make less-delicious food, or leave California.

This is so galling because eating trans fats is not a passive activity. One can choose to eat a properly baked croissant or an extra delicious and crispy piece of fried chicken made with the stuff, or one can choose an alternative. And restaurants can choose to not use trans fats and attract customers who want to remove it from their diets. Indeed, many restaurants already do that. Yet Gov. Nanny-nator has taken that choice away from people, because he thinks we too stupid to make our own health choices. We are not adults, but children in need of proper upbringing.

By Schwarzenegger's reasoning, cigarettes should be banned in California immediately. So should alcohol. So should any fatty foods at all, come to think of it. While trans fats are the worst of the worst, aren't other fats also bad — at least if one eats too much of it? Why not mandate that Californians eat a prescribed amount of fruits and vegetables, lean chicken and fish instead of marbled steaks, low-sodium salt, and unbuttered popcorn instead of the yummy movie kind? Isn't that all justified if California politicians feel it within their power to ban trans fats for our own good?

Of course, California's meddling politicians should honestly answer, "Yes." This is but the latest of their never-ending schemes to control the lives of their subjects — one maddening, freedom-crushing step at a time.