"The... most annoying blog(...) in the world (is) ... Infinite Monkeys. Read... only with extreme caution." --Hugh Hewitt

"People think I got the power 'cuz I got the monkeys. Nope. I got the power 'cuz I'll let the monkeys loose." --Monkey David

Some wise guy once said that if you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters and an infinite amount of time, they would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare, the Great American Novel, or the Republican Party's national platform. In fact, the Infinite Monkeys are a small, eccentric band of primates who, given some spare time and a substantial quantity of alcohol, produce semi-coherent punditry.

So who are the Infinite Monkeys, exactly? Nobody knows for sure. A couple of them are "consultants" (whatever that means); a few are full-time journalists ("professional" being too lofty a term to apply to their chosen trade); at least one works for the government; another is a small cog in the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy; one teaches and ran a school, a coffee kiosk, and a squad of Marines; a couple have been manufactured out of banana leaves and twine. And somewhere out there lurks the legendary Dr. Monkeystein, who "retired" from blogging in 2005 but pops up from time to time.

How did Infinite Monkeys get started? Infinite Monkeys was born in early 2003 on blogspot, the result of an act of drunken foolishness by Monkey David. Eventually, David realized he couldn't blog solo on a site called "Infinite Monkeys," so he invited his pals Robb and Brad. As soon as it dawned on David that the site couldn't possibly flourish with only Robb and Brad, he recruited Ben and the blogger who eventually became Monkeystein.

The Monkeys migrated from the blue blandness of blogspot to the yellower pastures of MovableType in 2005, only to find themselves beset with comment spammers and some guy named JamesPh. After a time, the Monkeys made peace with the outside world and added JamesPh, Poochucker, Dr. Zaius, H.L. Monkey and Joel to their little jungle. The Monkeys threw off the chains of MovableType in 2008 and joined the Cult of Drupal. They kept the yellow color scheme, though.

What do the monkeys like? Food and wine, politics, music, booze, books, kids, philosophy, religion, road bikes, booze, cheese, other monkeys, movies, TV, cycling, cats, LOLz, books about booze, technology, the hermeneutics of booze.

Do you know anything about actual monkeys? Anything at all? It's bananas and poo all the way down, brother.